RE Faved Pairings Update!
by Neva Soba
Summary: ... Sick... Demented... and totally Politically Incorrect
1. Default Chapter

So I know what you're thinking, I must be a sick person obsessing with RE characters. I can't help it... I NEED TO GET A LIFE! Personally I'm straight, but I'm open to things and am comfortable with guy/guy pairings as I am with girl/girl. Perhaps I'm bisexual but I believe we're all bisexual at some level, some more than others. Ok, moving on!  
  
  
Resident Evil Pairings, oh my!  
  
Jill/Chris  
The most obvious of pairings. Both are assertive and both are badasses. United they stand, divided they still stand, but what the hell...they look so hot together!  
  
Leon/Claire  
The second obvious pairing although I think Leon would go for a more assertive woman. Don't get me wrong, Claire kicks ass but she's a bit sappy.  
  
Jill/Leon  
Ah the veteran cop takes advantage of the rookie. But Leon would probably not be able to handle Jill, that firecracker. But still a good couple.  
  
Jill/Brad  
Ol' Chickenheart doesn't deserve Jill. And after Brad made them go through that hellhole of a mansion, I'd wanna kick him in the nuts twice.  
  
Jill/Nemesis  
Uhhhhhhhhh.........................................  
  
Alice/Adam  
Well they seemed like a couple towards the end. But damn, that was a short relationship. I love Alice... she kicks too much ass  
  
Chris/Claire  
Does anyone see anything wrong with this pairing? Well besides the miniscule fact that they're BROTHER AND SISTER, I think they'd do fine. Under other conditions...  
  
Rebecca/David  
For some reason, this pairing seems more like a rapist/rape victim relationship. Now I'm sure David doesn't think about those kinds of things, but Rebecca is too innocent.  
  
Chris/Rebecca  
Ditto...well maybe not. The reason I bias David is because he is afterall an escaped convict. Chris and Rebecca get along well enough...they'd do ok.  
  
Leon/Ada  
Unlike other pairings, this one actually hapenned. Ada's the perfect S&M bitch Leon needs, and Leon is the biggest boy toy Ada could ever find. Great one right here.  
  
Jill/Barry  
Eeeeeh...the creepy boss/co-worker type. I'm not sure this would turn anyone on, but there's someone for everything. Kind of nasty...  
  
Annette/William  
Well they're married, maybe that can tell you something. But as they say, till death do you apart. Or until your husband does  
  
Alfred/Alexia  
Quite possible despite the fact that they're siblings. The environment gets tense when these two are together...yuck  
  
Jill/Carlos  
Yep, these two definetely match. Too bad they work for opposing companies. I guess that really doesn't matter when you're both being hunted down by zombies  
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The following pairings are m/m or f/f. BEWARE!  
  
Chris/Leon  
I doubt it. Chris is too rough and Leon's a big pussy. Sure they'd do it, but they'd have nothing to talk about afterwards.  
  
Claire/Jill  
Now this couple I find extremely sexy. There's something about a woman with a big heavy machine gun that turns me on. Especially when it's two, ah double the fun!  
  
Chris/Wesker  
This pairing has gotten a lot of fans. I find it weird when Chris suddenly disappears for such a long while. I'm pretty sure Chris would feel intimidated by Wesker's shades. I do.  
  
Jill/Rebecca  
Awwwww...this pairing would look so hot yet cute at the same time. Sort of like your first lesbian experience in college. I'd give it the greenlight any day.  
  
Alice/Jill  
They're exactly like each other! Except Jill hasn't lost her memory. I can foresee much bondage in THIS relationship. Yep.  
  
Rain/Jill  
S.T.A.R.S female cop sex! WOW! But Rain strikes me as TOO lesbianic(no offense). Lesbianic or not, it'd still be hot.  
  
Adam/Leon  
S.T.A.R.S rookie cop sex! Leon! EW! This pairing has been cancelled.  
  
Claire/Alexia  
This reminds me of the tentacles that hentai fans are so obsessed with. Wait, I think I'm gonna be sick. Maybe if Alexia's not in her wife-of-satan getup.  
  
Claire/Sherry  
I'm not even going there..  
  
Alice/Rain  
Hmm, now that I think about it, these two girls could raise hell in bed. I should've seen this pairing earlier.  
  
Chris/Brad  
I actually find this pairing pretty good. Chris is the sort of guy that'd screw anything in the given moment and Brad has that 'use me, abuse me' look on his face. Thumbs up!  
  
Leon/Ark  
Well, since they're friends it might give some backbone to their story. Like I said, everyone's a valiant courageous tough guy next to Leon. That pussy...  
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Here's where it becomes dirty! More than 2 people at once!!  
  
Chris/Jill/Claire  
This threesome breaks more than one taboo -nudge,nudge-. But still, I can't picture it hapenning, well at least in a way that would turn me on.  
  
Claire/Leon/Ada  
Not bad at all. And the characters aren't related! But any pairing with Leon in it I definetely look down upon. This'll cost this triangle some big points!  
  
Jill/Claire/Rebecca  
Whoaaaa... the ultimate in love triangles. If only there were some excuse for the three of them getting together and doing the nasty. Major Thumbs up!  
  
Jill/Claire/Ada  
This is a variation of the Rebecca triangle. Here I'd be more at ease without the virgin baggage. Ada's a big whore and we all know it. She'd loooove this one! Sorry, Leon.  
  
Chris/Brad/Joseph  
A S.T.A.R.S guys threesome. Brad doesn't deserve such goodness but on the other hand, Brad would have a good workout seeing as how he'd probably be the passive member. That Brad!  
  
Chris/Jill/Wesker  
So the captain takes advantage of his two best cadets. Wesker's a perverted son of a gun and I know he'd make anything up to catch these two off guard.  
  
Chris/Jill/Carlos  
Jill with her two honeys. But for this triangle to be really successful both guys would have to be really uninhibited. I mean, we need to see some MMF that's worth our time.  
  
Nemesis/Mr. X/Alexia  
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....................  
  
Wesker/Alfred/William  
An Umbrella CEO threesome! A SICK ONE AT THAT!  
  
Alice/Rain/Adam  
The only survivors that at least made it to the train. If that damn licker could've kept his tongue to himself for a while longer.  
  
Rain/Jill/Rebecca  
The three toughest female S.T.A.R.S put together in a soft bed, rubbing up against each other with their scrumptuous sweaty curve-filled bodies. I feel a fanfic coming!  
  
Chris/Carlos/Joseph  
Joseph replaces Jill. Now if this isn't uninhibited, I don't know what the hell the word means. I gotta admit.. this makes me a bit, who am I kidding... VERY curious. 


	2. RE Faved Pairings 15

Well Well Well... based on certain events, I've decided to make the second part of this god forsaken list. Are you ready for more of my mindless, biased, misconceptioned opinions? mwahahahahaha!!  
  
  
Resident Evil Pairings 1.5, oh my!  
  
  
  
Sherry/The William Birkin Tyrant  
......That's a nice start, duntche dink? This pairing I'm not gonna analyze for the obvious reasons but I will say this: I find it really depraved when that worm crawls out of sherry in the sewers X_x  
  
Claire/Wesker  
This was of course to please some of you who fantasize of them two together. I can't find any way in which they'd hook up except maybe in Veronica in the few times Wesker threatens Chris with Jill's life. Hmmm...wait a second. That's a GREAT possibility. Wesker, you old shameless bastard.  
  
Jill/Zombie  
Come on, everywhere we see Jill we see the hungry(horny?) living dead grabbing her leg trying to get a nice big bite o' Jill. Sure they're like Mongoose and Cobra, Cat and Dog, Paula and Monica but maybe THAT's what makes it intriguing. Erm..  
  
Rebecca/Billy...yes it was BILLY! ....I tell ye, Im horrible at names  
ok, though Billy was framed he was STILL in Jail. And escaping from state custody whether he's been framed or not makes him an escaped convict. DEAL WITH IT!! Oh, yes, Rebecca x Billy = Hot.  
  
Matt formerly known as "Adam"/All those people mentioned 0_o  
Matt and Alice, Matt and Rain, Matt and Kaplan... Matt's like black, it goes with everything.  
  
Leon/Everyone  
Oh yes, Leon is a big rugged masculine man. Don't call him otherwise or he'll knock on your door and kick you square in the nuts. Yep, that kids is what we call karma.  
  
Kendo/Claire/Chief Irons  
Claire gets sexually harassed everywhere she goes. Coincidentally all the midget zombies say her hair smells nice.  
  
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Mkeh, me has a proposal. Of all the pairings in Part 1 and Part 1.5, select two of the Faved of the Faved. I'll fix ye all a nice juicy fic! ANY of the pairings. Write 'em in your reviews. I dare you to be disgusting...  
  
PS. oh yes, please write their full names. Need I tell you why?! XD 


	3. RE Faved Pairings Update

Live from my disturbed mind, an update in RE pairings. Please refrain from masturbating while reading. Thanks much!  
  
  
  
Resident Evil Pairings 1.6.1 BETA, Pre-Release Prototype Version... Oh My!  
  
  
  
Claire/Steve  
How could I forget?!?!?! Claire Redfield and Leonardo Da Crapio! ::hits self with beer bottle:: though I protest... Steve is a little(little?!) too gay. I stand by my choice: Claire and Jill!!  
  
Wesker/Birkin  
Come on, like 20 years of working together in closed quarters, withering up with virus testing day after day. I'm sure Annette didn't fulfill her duty because hello...they only have 1 child.  
  
Nosferatu/Alexia  
Umbrella Scientists say that the T-Veronica virus not only causes a viral transformation but also works as an aphrodisiac. A really potent one too! ..... ::scarred::  
  
Lisa Trevor/Alexia  
And the sick gestures continue... But lest we forget, these former babes were once... umm...babes. Or if you prefer to see them in action as they are now, well it's your therapy sessions, not mine buddy.  
  
Alfred "Androgynous" Ashford/The Sister formerly known as Alfred  
I could just imagine a mannequin giving head to Alfred. With the wig stapled to its scalp and everything =D  
  
Chris/Alexia  
...just because it got a vote. Lol... how romantic, dinner, a movie AND a linear launcher! awwwww  
  
Steve/Leon  
Claire's boyfriends. This couple is a step away from being a LESBIAN couple. Claire has a weird taste in men... err, people.  
  
Claire/Tofu  
The Tofu Survivor and the bitch!! WOO-HOO! FOOOOOOOOD!  
  
Enrico Marini/Forest Spyer/Kenneth Sullivan/Richard Aiken/Nicholai Zinoviev/Mikhail Victor/Rebecca Chambers  
Just to use the rest of the S.T.A.R.S... sorry... my head can only take so many guys... so I placed in the least appropriate person for the job as center of attention! REBECCA! she so chibi... anyway... wait...no... !!!!read below!!!!  
  
Enrico Marini/Forest Spyer/Kenneth Sullivan/Richard Aiken/Nicholai Zinoviev/Mikhail Victor/Sherry Birkin  
Oh... I'm going to hell  
  
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Damn you people...VOOOOOOTE. MOOOOOORE!  
  
The Score so far:  
  
Chris/Jill1  
Alexia/Mr X/Nemesis1  
Ada/Leon1  
Claire/Wesker2  
Leon/Chris1  
Alice/Matt1  
Jill/Carlos1  
Chris/Alexia1  
  
MY pick:  
Claire/Jill/Rebecca1 


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